I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
