Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
