Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
