dude i'm inner monologue high
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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