You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
