her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
