well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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