i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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