I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
