did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
