i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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