Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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