walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
high people should be assigned attendants
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
