At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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