I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
soo... how was my night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
