need another drink. this is the easiest way
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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