Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
