coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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