Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

(1-727): View more from Florida

Lol welcome to greek life

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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(619): View more from California

After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?

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(770): View more from Georgia

I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(

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(619): View more from California

No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

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(509): View more from Washington

Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed

(630): View more from Illinois

Go me

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm actually proud

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(509): View more from Washington

I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???

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