He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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