Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
