I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
