ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
