Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
