just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
