You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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