pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Randomize
