it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
