i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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