I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
