What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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