Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
