We should be called the Road Head Warriors
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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