NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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