do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
