Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
