he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
