doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
