It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
