What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
