I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I party with great urgency now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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