coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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