Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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