People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
