This is not my ceiling
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
