Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
