I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
