I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
