ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
