There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
