Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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