he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
