I just made out with a guy for $7.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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